Peer Reviews
Receiving insight from my peers has come as a tremendously beneficial instrument, especially when editing my drafts for the final model. Comments from my peers has allowed me to see errors or perceptive additions I could add into my work that I would have never seen or thought to implement. I additionally, of course, did this for my peers in return. My reviews for them were less formal as I would reply to their work by giving them a few structural tips that align more closely with the instructions or prompt of the assignment. I would additionally give some insight on some concepts they could include to further support their argument. With this being said I would also be sure to include foremost the components of their work that they did well, as they always maintained a respectful manner whilst reviewing my work.
Editors name: Grayson Hurt
Peer Name: Kalia Johnston
Introduction Title: Spectrum of the Mind
Is there a good title? Does it draw you in?
The title poses as well-rounded and academic, doing well in captivating the audience, demonstrating the topic at hand, and maintaining professionalism.
What is the thesis of the essay and is it clearly worded?
The essay thesis is clear and well written. It promotes adaptation within school environments to better suit not only students with autism but also that of students who are easily distracted or just need a break to refocus in general. It highlights that the benefits of such adaptations would immensely outweigh the costs which would be very affordable.
Does the thesis address rhetorical effectiveness rather than opinion?
Yes, the author firstly proposes certain ideas that could help within classroom environments such as headphones, but later demonstrates the practical usage of such suggestions.
Content:
How related are the body paragraphs to the thesis?
The body paragraphs accurately cover in more detail components of the main thesis.
Which topic sentences could be more focused?
Although her suggestion ideas are solid, at times her sentences spend too much time discussing them and sometimes tend to veer away from the paragraph topic.
Does the writer use examples from the rhetorical text?
Yes the author effectively implements instances from the rhetorical text and especially does a good job at including familial experiences related to the topic.
Could more detail be added?
While the author is very effective at not making her paragraph explanations abstract, this effectiveness could utilized to elaborate on a few concepts she includes but overall, the text is very detailed.
How well is the essay organized and does it need transitions?
The essay is very well organized and each body paragraph pertains directly to its mentioning within the thesis. The only place that I believe could use a slightly more smooth transition is between the 2 body paragraphs.
Conclusion:
Is there a conclusion?
Yes there is and it not only sums up the main themes of the essay but also restates the thesis uniquely.
Instructional requirements:
Does the essay meet the minimum length requirements?
Yes, the essay slightly exceeds the minimum word count needed.
Does the essay meet citation guidelines?
Yes, It appears that the citations are formatted correctly.
Comments:
What stood out most?
What stood out most to me was that the author based the topic off of her own familial experience with her son. She states that her son has autism and I believe that this experience contributed vastly to the effectiveness and passion that went into making this essay.
Unanswered questions
While the essay mainly focuses on physical environmental factors that could be of great aid to students ability in the classroom, upon the beginning of the essay, it discusses how we could make the classroom a more socially warm and welcoming atmosphere. This notion is not entirely elaborated upon further in the essay, and from personal bad past experiences in the classroom, I too would love to know how we can promote this kind of social environment for all students.
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